A Model Counsellor.

A Model Counsellor.

As the new president of a Crisis Pregnancy Counselling Center, I was not involved in the day-to-day operations.  The Center was already successful in saving lives of mothers and babies.  My job was to give them the environment and tools to facilitate their efforts.  However, over time I gained some insights into the operation of the center.  Personalities eventually emerged that I recognized and followed as they listened to, advised and prayed with the young ladies walking into the Center.

There is no doubt at all that these pregnancy counsellors were saints in the true sense of the word.  They may have come with bent halos, but their hearts were genuinely concerned about the welfare of their potential “clients.”  Many of them had experienced an unexpected pregnancy themselves.  But unexpected doesn’t mean unwanted.  The mistaken belief that giving oneself sexually will strengthen the relationship leading to marriage often makes it difficult to say “no.”

Yvonne was one of those model counsellors.  Her journey to being a counsellor began when she found herself pregnant at the age of sixteen.  The young man was her high school sweetheart and had no means to support her and their new child.  Overwhelmed with guilt and the prospect of parenting at an early age, he walked away.  Yvonne, after visiting a crisis pregnancy center and counselling with her family, decided to keep the child.  Her parents helped her with her new role as mother while she finished high school.

She eventually married her high school sweetheart and raise a family of three boys.  Their marriage was a stormy one, but intact.  She gave herself wholeheartedly to raising her sons and when she accomplished that, returned to the Crisis Pregnancy Center to become a volunteer counsellor.

Yvonne soon became the most effective counsellor on the center.  She threw herself wholeheartedly into saving the lives of mothers and babies.  When counselling college age women, she discovered how deeply secular thinking had invaded our society.  For her, life was always precious, but the thinking that pregnancy was a problem that could be eliminated by abortion has invaded our campuses.

The women coming into the center had few family ties to support them.  Often, the men involved simply wanted to “get rid of the problem.”

These women needed more than just a listening ear.  They needed tangible help in working through their issues and dilemmas.  Yvonne was able to stretch her time and resources to give these women support and encouragement, whether they intended to give their babies up for adoption or raise them on their own or with family help.  With all the responsibility of family and current clients, she always showed up, ready for the next walk-in client.

As president, I was proud of the work that the staff and volunteers.  My job was to provide the most appropriate setting for the staff and volunteers to do their mission.  I also wanted to give the volunteers recognition for their dedication and commitment to their mission.

The idea of awarding outstanding volunteers at the annual banquet made a lot of sense, so we quickly adopted it.  We wanted to let our supporting members get to know the staff and volunteers and let them know that their donations were making a difference in saving lives.

1992 was a watershed year, since several of the founders of the Crisis Pregnancy Center were retiring from their staff and volunteer positions.  This was the fifth year of my presidency, so I became more familiar with the daily operations.  I noticed that Yvonne had taken the lead, mentoring new trainees while keeping a full schedule at the Center as a volunteer counsellor.  That year the board unanimously agreed that Yvonne would be awarded the Volunteer of the Year Award at the spring banquet.

During that time, the Pregnancy Crisis Center had thrived and we were able to hire a part­-time staff person to formulate an abstinence message for high school students.  We were also seeking an ultrasound machine to use at the center.

Trouble was brewing in paradise.  The staff person we hired to design and present the abstinence program also poured herself into her work.  She had made presentations to the Christian schools in the area and was developing an approach to public schools, as well.  While I believe that she was effective, there was no way to measure the impact she had on her audience.  On the other hand, we knew how many young women had made the decision to choose life at the Center.

The board decision that year was unanimous.  It was also a well-kept secret.  We made sure that John, Yvonne’s husband would be present when we I gave her the plaque and bouquet of flowers.  She had no idea what was coming.  Such a small recognition for such a large commitment!

When the announcement was made at the spring banquet that Yvonne was chosen as the volunteer of the year, the abstinence staffer stormed out of the banquet hall.  From that point forward, there was a rift among the employees.  The abstinence staffer demanded a raise.  The board declined.   While there is no doubt that the staffer put in more than 20 hours per week, the position was a half-time one and there were no set hours.

Being the father of six children and working a full-time career left me no time to expand the fundraising efforts for further outreach from the Crisis Pregnancy Center.  The annual banquet remained our mainstay of support as it took months to plan ahead and arrange all the details.

That fall I learned that Yvonne had contracted cancer.  The outlook was not favorable.  At the same time, my wife, Suzanne, informed me that we were expecting our seventh child.  Little did I know that our circumstances would become enmeshed in totally unexpected ways.

The Christmas holidays were a busy time.  I had expected to make time off for the family, especially since Suzanne was with child.  I thought I would find the time to visit Yvonne and pray with her.  But that was not to be.

That January began with a flurry of activities that kept me occupied.  I took time to pray for Yvonne, but had no opportunity to visit her.  She and her husband lived about 30 miles out of town, so this was a trip that needed to be planned, especially in the winter.  In late January, Suzanne and I attended a marriage weekend near Steubenville, Ohio.  At that retreat, we saw a video of Father Michael Scanlan talking about the spiritual value of redemptive suffering.  Suzanne was so taken by that talk that she asked for several audio tapes to be made to take home with us.

On our drive back to Lansing, she put the audiotape into the cassette player and we listened to Father Scanlan again.  And again.  I tried to eject the audio tape, but it would not co-operate.  There was nothing we could do but listen to the audio tape a third time.  This took nearly the entire drive back home from Steubenville.

Mysteriously, when we pulled into our driveway I pressed the eject button one more time.    The cassette finally ejected. We both turned to look at each other.  Was God trying to tell us something?

Suzanne mentioned that the pregnancy somehow felt different and that she intended to see her doctor for a checkup.  In the meantime, I had arranged to visit Yvonne in her home on Valentine’s Day.  I went to my prayer corner to ask God how I could pray for Yvonne.  I came up empty, other than bringing her the Father Scanlan tape.

I opened my Bible as I would end my prayer session.  It fell open at Isaiah 48:10:

See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this.

 

An audible, gentle voice spoke< ‘This Scripture isn’t only meant for Yvonne.  It is also meant for you.”

I pondered the meaning of this as I drove to Yvonne’s home.  When I arrived, her husband John met me at the door and cautioned me that Yvonne was very weak.  She was hooked up to a morphine drip so that when pain became overpowering, she would press a button to get some relief.  However, the result was that the morphine would put her to sleep.

Others had visited Yvonne, praying with her for a healing.  When there was no relief, one of the visitors had the audacity to say, “Yvonne, maybe you don’t have enough faith.”  That hurt her to the core.  If anyone had faith, it was Yvonne.

As she told me this, I was angered that her faith was questioned.  I asked her if she knew what redemptive suffering meant.  She said “No.”  We discussed that suffering is made redemptive when it is united with Christ at the foot of the cross.

I told her, “Yvonne, you have an enormous treasure being accumulated through your suffering.  This spiritual treasure can be used to save lives at the center.  It can be used for not only your salvation, but for your husband’s and children’s salvation.  You are in an enviable position to do more good with your suffering than you have ever done before.”

She responded, “I want you to know that the pain is becoming unbearable.  I have not pressed the morphine drip because I wanted to hear what you have to say.  Thank you.”  We ended the session with the Chaplet of Divine Mercy as she drifted off to sleep.

Two weeks later Yvonne’s husband, John, called me to thank me for visiting her and told me that Yvonne had died.  She had one final request…that I give the eulogy at her funeral.

I have lost the copy of the eulogy.  Maybe it is better to end it this way.